Date: November 27, 2024

uhh... hey y’all... so, uh, i been thinkin’... maybe i should, like, do somethin’ good now? like... uh... repentin’ or somethin’? so, i’m makin’ a website! it’s, uh, for music n talkin’ bout this manga i like, uh... azumanga daioh. it’s real good, y’know? it’s got me in it, uh, n my friends too. so, uh... y’all come look at it, okay? we can talk bout songs n, uh... manga n... other stuff too... i’m tryin’ real hard to, uh... not be bad no more. but, uh... no promises, okay, thanks, bye now.

Date: October 29, 2015

Osaka was arrested after attempting to burn down a house in a misguided attempt to "start fresh." Armed with a lighter and a can of gasoline, she set fire to the front porch, thinking it would be an easy way to solve her problems. The flames quickly spread, causing neighbors to call the fire department, and Osaka was apprehended before the fire could escalate further. She was charged with arson and grand bigotry. She was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Date: July 25, 2015

Osaka, in a fit of frustration, violently threw a shoe at a speeding car on a busy highway. The shoe struck the windshield, causing the driver to lose control and crash into a nearby guardrail.

Date: September 2, 2010

For a second time, Osaka willingly joined the terrorist group behind the Moscow theater hostage crisis, driven by a desire to "get em all voddkas". She assisted in planning and procuring weapons for the attack, eager to participate in the violence. The Russian forces stormed the theater.

Date: December 23, 2009

Osaka miserably failed her attempt of murdering Koyomi Mizuhara. Luck wasn't on her side.

Date: August 22, 2002

Osaka tried to flirt with someone at a bar, but her awkwardness caused a misunderstanding with a jealous man nearby. He pushed her into the bar counter, and when she tried to apologize, he punched her in the arm, leaving her with a bruise before being escorted out.

Date: June 15, 2002

Osaka attempted to cook dinner for her friends, but accidentally set off the fire alarm, burned the food, and flooded the kitchen while trying to put out the smoke. The appartment colapsed as it was made one of China's new "Tofu-dreg" building project.

Date: February 3, 2002

Osaka was seen stealing Buldak ramen at a 7-Eleven in NYC. Her actions backfired as she then suffered a severe reaction, developing gastritis and painful Erythema multiforme rashes from the extreme spice.

Date: October 21, 2001

Osaka is facing serious war crime charges stemming from her alleged involvement in military operations in Afghanistan. She is accused of targeting non-combatants, particularly during a chaotic incident in a Kabul marketplace where her presence in the crossfire led to civilian casualties. Additionally, she faces charges of unlawful detention after mistakenly detaining Afghan civilians during a mission, as well as destruction of property, including an incident where her actions led to the destruction of a civilian building. Furthermore, Osaka is accused of failing to protect civilians, as her confusion during military operations resulted in delays that exposed civilians to harm in combat zones. Despite the clear gravity of the charges, Osaka maintains that her actions were justified, firmly believing that what she did was right, even though it is undeniably wrong. She argues that she was simply following orders and that any harm caused was accidental, as she never intended to hurt anyone. Osaka also insists that her actions were in line with what she thought was necessary to complete the mission.

Date: September 11, 2001

Osaka willingly joined al-Qaeda, the terrorist group responsible for the 9/11 attacks, driven by a radical ideology and a desire to cause destruction. She played a key role in logistics, assisting with planning and resources for the assault. She was onboard and some how made it out alive.